Instagram Selfie Dump #3

Who wants to look at my face? No one?

Truth be told, I mostly just backup my Instagram photos here because I’m paranoid that my account is going to be deleted and I’ll lose everything.

a photo closeup of a jimmy dean blueberry pancake sausage on a stick and laurel green eating one
…yum?

I was visiting the my sister in the US, so I decided to try some traditional American food like Jimmy Dean Blueberry Pancakes and Sausage on a Stick.

I regret the decision, because my sister wouldn’t eat them and I had to eat to whole box myself.

laurel green wearing a yellow shirt and glasses on a balcony
YELLOW SHIRT!

This was the day that I went to go see Negativland’s CONTENT! show with my sister. Look at that, lip gloss and mascara. I must have been feeling especially fancy that day. My hair was doing something weird, though.

Negativland is group of experimental noise musicians. You’ve probably never heard of them.

laurel green with sun rays coming from behind and obscuring her
BLINDING!

I thought that this photo was going to be artsy-fartsy and cool. The sun is really intense in Tucson, isn’t it?

photo of laurel green hidden by a pink sun umbrella
Where am I?

I bought a frilly pink sun umbrella to protect my precious pale skin when I was in Tucson. Seriously, though, pale people shouldn’t go there. You will die.

Lots of people honked at me when I was walking down the street carrying this. I’m not sure if they approved or not.

photo of laurel green wearing a tie dye dress
NICE DRESS!

A lot of people honked at me when I was wearing this dress, too. I guess tie dye is big in Tucson.

a photo of feet wearing moisturizing booties in front of a tv
…what?

Here is me wearing moisturizing feet masks in front of the TV. I was watching The Flash. Mark Hamill was a guest star.

photo of laurel green with a weird smile
HRNG.

This is me attempting to smile and failing. I look more like I want to bite you, instead.

a photo of laurel green smiling nicely without her glass
YAY!

This is me smiling less creepy-like.

laurel green smiling with a weird look in her eyes
What am I looking at?

I think that my eyes look weird here.

photos of laurel green wearing oval glass and rectangle glasses
Which ones?

There was a “Buy One, Get One Free” on some glasses website, so I got these. I don’t really like the rectangular ones very much, so I never wear them.

a boring selfie of laurel green
Meh.

Ehn. This photo is pretty boring. Like my grey walls?

a photo of laurel green smiling in front of a grey wall
Bleh.

And here is me with a slightly different expression on my face. Aren’t you glad that I shared this with you?

photo of a hand with a large bandage on the wrist
Ouch.

I was trying to introduce two cats together and there was an incident…

photo of laurel green wearing a beer helmet and holding up a warning label
“Not meant to provide and protection or safety”

My older brother got me a beer helmet for Christmas 2016. Because why would he get me something nice?

black and white photo of laurel green's face with her eyes closed
Can’t. See.

Who missed my eyelids?

photo of laurel green covering her face and wearing red lipstick
You can’t see me.

The top half of my face wasn’t behaving.

photo of laurel green wearing red lipstick with her face partially shadowed
Smirky.

I didn’t think that this lipstick looked weird in real life, but it look a bit weird in this photo.

photo of laurel green with a pink rose in her hair
FLOWERY!

I bought this flower clip because I need to add something to my order to get it over the shipping limit. I wore it exactly once. I wonder how much crap people end up with that they don’t really want because buying it is less expensive than paying for shipping?

 

photo of laurel green, a woman with brown hair and green eyes
Murky!

I have no idea what my hair is doing here, or why there is so much vignette.

laurel green wearing spooky zombie makeup
SCARY!

This is me attempting to look scary.

But, Laurel, you say, you don’t need any of that makeup! The power was inside you all along! You’re scary enough just by being you!

 

Well, that’s all for today. I should probably try to group these photos by theme or event, so that what I have to say is about them is more coherent and interesting, but meh.

Instagram Selfie Dump #2

Everyone likes looking at my face. Even you like looking at my face.

a closeup photo of laurel green smirking and wearing glasses
What am I looking at?

Always me with the smirking and whatnot.

a photo of laurel green's legs dressed in hippie pants
Boho Fashion?

I dress like a hippie… because I am a hippie.

laurel green taking photo of herself in a bathroom mirror
Stylin’ and Profilin’

This is an outfit that my mother gave me for Christmas. Goddamn my dead grandmother’s bathroom was dreary.

a photo of laurel green's outfit in a mirror while she's smiling
Same But Different

Here’s the same outfit again, but this time I’m smiling more, because, apparently, I didn’t look happy enough in the first one.

a closeup photo of laurel green wearing a face mask sheet
Spoopy!

This is one of those Korean moisturizing facial sheets that supposed to make your face look an purty and junk. I don’t think it worked on me.

a photo of laurel green's severely bruised knee
Owie!

I fell while shovelling some snow and this was the result.

a photo of laurel green without makeup
Boring!

This is a photo of me au naturel. I look like my little brother.

a photo of laurel green wearing glass with her mouth open
Whoa!?

This is me trying to look dynamic and fun, but I think that I mostly just look startled.

a closeup of half of laurel green's face
Half the cover of Face/Off

The other half of my face is horribly scarred.

a photo of laurel green's face glowing
Noctilucent

I’m so white, I glow in the dark.

a photo of laurel green wearing a crocodile necklace
Croco-Smile

I got that ostentatious crocodile necklace for my birthday.

a photo of laurel green with purple lipstick and wearing glasses
The Blueberry Pie Thief

I also got this lipstick for my birthday.

a photo of laurel green looking goth and being grumpy
Grumpy Goth

From smirks to sneers.

a photo of laurel green looking goth and have wind blow through her hair
Wind Gusting Through Her Hair

I was sitting in front of a fan.

a photo of laurel green's fingers stained by cheap rings
OXIDIZED!

Some cheap midi rings stained my fingers.

a photo of laurel green looking surprised
Huh?

I am not sure what kind of emotion that I am trying to convey here.

a high-contrast photo of laurel green looking bummed out
Hhmmm…

The sun was in my eyes.

a high-contrast photo of laurel green smiling evilly
You Know What You Did

I think this is what they call a “rueful smile”.

a photo of laurel green under a blue light
The Blue Light Special

My sister has strange lights in her apartment that she can change to any colour.

a photo of laurel green wearing an oversized sun hat
I Can’t See Shit

I was in Arizona. Arizona has very intense sunlight.

 

Whelp. That all for today. See on the flipside east.

Instagram Selfie Dump #1

Instagram doesn’t let you organize your photos into folders or anything, so I’ve decided to collect my photos of myself on this blog. Gaze upon them in all their compressed glory!

a closeup photo of laurel green's mouth with a pill between her teeth
Ibuprofen is delicious!

This was me attempting an artsy fartsy photo. I failed.

a closeup photo of laurel green's mouth smiling and her teeth showing
HAPPY!

This is the kind of smile that I make just before I bite you.

a photo of one of laurel green's ears with a butterfly earring in it
I can hear the butterflies.

I wore these butterfly earrings to my high school prom.

a closeup photo of laurel green's eyes and the bridge of her nose
Allergies

Don’t take picture of yourself when you are tired or having an allergy attack.

a photo of laurel green's bare feet on a tarp and there is a bandaid on her right big toe
Nice bandaid!

I don’t remember why I was ┬ástanding on a tarp or why I was wearing that bandaid.

a photo of laurel green's brown boots standing on a tree branch
Huh?

I don’t remember why I was up this tree.

a photo of laurel green's bare feet standing on a tree branch, her boots are on the ground below
Why?

I don’t remember why I threw my boots out of the tree.

a photo of laurel green wearing a cat ear hat that is covering her eyes and nose
Meow

I made this cat ear hat all by myself.

a photo of laurel green's feet on a table with a can of pop beside them
Lollygagging

President’s Choice pop is the best.

a photo of a bruise on laurel green's shoulder
Ow.

I got this bruise from carrying a heavy grocery bag.

a photo of laurel green's face with a popeye cigarette in her mouth
Don’t worry; It’s candy.

I had to eat a bunch of Popeye Cigarettes last year, because no kids came to my house.

a photo of laurel green wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt
Bleh.

This is me all dressed up to walk my dog in the rain.

a black and white photo of laurel green looking moody
Moody

Man, my pupils are huge.

a closeup photo of laurel green's hand with rings with bugs on them on her fingers
Bug Rings

I really like these bug rings. I wear them all the time.

a photo of a burn on laurel green's wrist
Ouch.

I burnt my wrist on my dead grandmother’s crappy ancient oven.

a photo of laurel green's hand holding a wild strawberry
Yummy!

A bunch of wild strawberries grew on the driveway this year.

a photo of laurel green's neck with a charm necklace around it
Clangy

I don’t know whether I like this necklace better with the rings…

a photo of laurel green's neck with a thick silver necklace around it
Stylin’?

…or without.

a photo of laurel green sitting in a chair in front of some pink lace curtains
Nice curtains!

Look at those awesome curtains. They’re so awesome. It’s awesome.

a photo of laurel green's face, she is wearing glasses and smirking
Hello!

I’m always smirking about something.