Instagram Selfie Dump #3

Who wants to look at my face? No one?

Truth be told, I mostly just backup my Instagram photos here because I’m paranoid that my account is going to be deleted and I’ll lose everything.

a photo closeup of a jimmy dean blueberry pancake sausage on a stick and laurel green eating one

I was visiting the my sister in the US, so I decided to try some traditional American food like Jimmy Dean Blueberry Pancakes and Sausage on a Stick.

I regret the decision, because my sister wouldn’t eat them and I had to eat to whole box myself.

laurel green wearing a yellow shirt and glasses on a balcony

This was the day that I went to go see Negativland’s CONTENT! show with my sister. Look at that, lip gloss and mascara. I must have been feeling especially fancy that day. My hair was doing something weird, though.

Negativland is group of experimental noise musicians. You’ve probably never heard of them.

laurel green with sun rays coming from behind and obscuring her

I thought that this photo was going to be artsy-fartsy and cool. The sun is really intense in Tucson, isn’t it?

photo of laurel green hidden by a pink sun umbrella
Where am I?

I bought a frilly pink sun umbrella to protect my precious pale skin when I was in Tucson. Seriously, though, pale people shouldn’t go there. You will die.

Lots of people honked at me when I was walking down the street carrying this. I’m not sure if they approved or not.

photo of laurel green wearing a tie dye dress

A lot of people honked at me when I was wearing this dress, too. I guess tie dye is big in Tucson.

a photo of feet wearing moisturizing booties in front of a tv

Here is me wearing moisturizing feet masks in front of the TV. I was watching The Flash. Mark Hamill was a guest star.

photo of laurel green with a weird smile

This is me attempting to smile and failing. I look more like I want to bite you, instead.

a photo of laurel green smiling nicely without her glass

This is me smiling less creepy-like.

laurel green smiling with a weird look in her eyes
What am I looking at?

I think that my eyes look weird here.

photos of laurel green wearing oval glass and rectangle glasses
Which ones?

There was a “Buy One, Get One Free” on some glasses website, so I got these. I don’t really like the rectangular ones very much, so I never wear them.

a boring selfie of laurel green

Ehn. This photo is pretty boring. Like my grey walls?

a photo of laurel green smiling in front of a grey wall

And here is me with a slightly different expression on my face. Aren’t you glad that I shared this with you?

photo of a hand with a large bandage on the wrist

I was trying to introduce two cats together and there was an incident…

photo of laurel green wearing a beer helmet and holding up a warning label
“Not meant to provide and protection or safety”

My older brother got me a beer helmet for Christmas 2016. Because why would he get me something nice?

black and white photo of laurel green's face with her eyes closed
Can’t. See.

Who missed my eyelids?

photo of laurel green covering her face and wearing red lipstick
You can’t see me.

The top half of my face wasn’t behaving.

photo of laurel green wearing red lipstick with her face partially shadowed

I didn’t think that this lipstick looked weird in real life, but it look a bit weird in this photo.

photo of laurel green with a pink rose in her hair

I bought this flower clip because I need to add something to my order to get it over the shipping limit. I wore it exactly once. I wonder how much crap people end up with that they don’t really want because buying it is less expensive than paying for shipping?

photo of laurel green, a woman with brown hair and green eyes

I have no idea what my hair is doing here, or why there is so much vignette.

laurel green wearing spooky zombie makeup

This is me attempting to look scary.

But, Laurel, you say, you don’t need any of that makeup! The power was inside you all along! You’re scary enough just by being you!

Well, that’s all for today. I should probably try to group these photos by theme or event, so that what I have to say is about them is more coherent and interesting, but meh.

Instagram Selfie Dump #1

Instagram doesn’t let you organize your photos into folders or anything, so I’ve decided to collect my photos of myself on this blog. Gaze upon them in all their compressed glory!

a closeup photo of laurel green's mouth with a pill between her teeth
Ibuprofen is delicious!

This was me attempting an artsy fartsy photo. I failed.

a closeup photo of laurel green's mouth smiling and her teeth showing

This is the kind of smile that I make just before I bite you.

a photo of one of laurel green's ears with a butterfly earring in it
I can hear the butterflies.

I wore these butterfly earrings to my high school prom.

a closeup photo of laurel green's eyes and the bridge of her nose

Don’t take picture of yourself when you are tired or having an allergy attack.

a photo of laurel green's bare feet on a tarp and there is a bandaid on her right big toe
Nice bandaid!

I don’t remember why I was  standing on a tarp or why I was wearing that bandaid.

a photo of laurel green's brown boots standing on a tree branch

I don’t remember why I was up this tree.

a photo of laurel green's bare feet standing on a tree branch, her boots are on the ground below

I don’t remember why I threw my boots out of the tree.

a photo of laurel green wearing a cat ear hat that is covering her eyes and nose

I made this cat ear hat all by myself.

a photo of laurel green's feet on a table with a can of pop beside them

President’s Choice pop is the best.

a photo of a bruise on laurel green's shoulder

I got this bruise from carrying a heavy grocery bag.

a photo of laurel green's face with a popeye cigarette in her mouth
Don’t worry; It’s candy.

I had to eat a bunch of Popeye Cigarettes last year, because no kids came to my house.

a photo of laurel green wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt

This is me all dressed up to walk my dog in the rain.

a black and white photo of laurel green looking moody

Man, my pupils are huge.

a closeup photo of laurel green's hand with rings with bugs on them on her fingers
Bug Rings

I really like these bug rings. I wear them all the time.

a photo of a burn on laurel green's wrist

I burnt my wrist on my dead grandmother’s crappy ancient oven.

a photo of laurel green's hand holding a wild strawberry

A bunch of wild strawberries grew on the driveway this year.

a photo of laurel green's neck with a charm necklace around it

I don’t know whether I like this necklace better with the rings…

a photo of laurel green's neck with a thick silver necklace around it

…or without.

a photo of laurel green sitting in a chair in front of some pink lace curtains
Nice curtains!

Look at those awesome curtains. They’re so awesome. It’s awesome.

a photo of laurel green's face, she is wearing glasses and smirking

I’m always smirking about something.