Instagram Selfie Dump #2

Everyone likes looking at my face. Even you like looking at my face.

a closeup photo of laurel green smirking and wearing glasses
What am I looking at?

Always me with the smirking and whatnot.

a photo of laurel green's legs dressed in hippie pants
Boho Fashion?

I dress like a hippie… because I am a hippie.

laurel green taking photo of herself in a bathroom mirror
Stylin’ and Profilin’

This is an outfit that my mother gave me for Christmas. Goddamn my dead grandmother’s bathroom was dreary.

a photo of laurel green's outfit in a mirror while she's smiling
Same But Different

Here’s the same outfit again, but this time I’m smiling more, because, apparently, I didn’t look happy enough in the first one.

a closeup photo of laurel green wearing a face mask sheet
Spoopy!

This is one of those Korean moisturizing facial sheets that supposed to make your face look an purty and junk. I don’t think it worked on me.

a photo of laurel green's severely bruised knee
Owie!

I fell while shovelling some snow and this was the result.

a photo of laurel green without makeup
Boring!

This is a photo of me au naturel. I look like my little brother.

a photo of laurel green wearing glass with her mouth open
Whoa!?

This is me trying to look dynamic and fun, but I think that I mostly just look startled.

a closeup of half of laurel green's face
Half the cover of Face/Off

The other half of my face is horribly scarred.

a photo of laurel green's face glowing
Noctilucent

I’m so white, I glow in the dark.

a photo of laurel green wearing a crocodile necklace
Croco-Smile

I got that ostentatious crocodile necklace for my birthday.

a photo of laurel green with purple lipstick and wearing glasses
The Blueberry Pie Thief

I also got this lipstick for my birthday.

a photo of laurel green looking goth and being grumpy
Grumpy Goth

From smirks to sneers.

a photo of laurel green looking goth and have wind blow through her hair
Wind Gusting Through Her Hair

I was sitting in front of a fan.

a photo of laurel green's fingers stained by cheap rings
OXIDIZED!

Some cheap midi rings stained my fingers.

a photo of laurel green looking surprised
Huh?

I am not sure what kind of emotion that I am trying to convey here.

a high-contrast photo of laurel green looking bummed out
Hhmmm…

The sun was in my eyes.

a high-contrast photo of laurel green smiling evilly
You Know What You Did

I think this is what they call a “rueful smile”.

a photo of laurel green under a blue light
The Blue Light Special

My sister has strange lights in her apartment that she can change to any colour.

a photo of laurel green wearing an oversized sun hat
I Can’t See Shit

I was in Arizona. Arizona has very intense sunlight.

 

Whelp. That all for today. See on the flipside east.

Instagram Selfie Dump #1

Instagram doesn’t let you organize your photos into folders or anything, so I’ve decided to collect my photos of myself on this blog. Gaze upon them in all their compressed glory!

a closeup photo of laurel green's mouth with a pill between her teeth
Ibuprofen is delicious!

This was me attempting an artsy fartsy photo. I failed.

a closeup photo of laurel green's mouth smiling and her teeth showing
HAPPY!

This is the kind of smile that I make just before I bite you.

a photo of one of laurel green's ears with a butterfly earring in it
I can hear the butterflies.

I wore these butterfly earrings to my high school prom.

a closeup photo of laurel green's eyes and the bridge of her nose
Allergies

Don’t take picture of yourself when you are tired or having an allergy attack.

a photo of laurel green's bare feet on a tarp and there is a bandaid on her right big toe
Nice bandaid!

I don’t remember why I was  standing on a tarp or why I was wearing that bandaid.

a photo of laurel green's brown boots standing on a tree branch
Huh?

I don’t remember why I was up this tree.

a photo of laurel green's bare feet standing on a tree branch, her boots are on the ground below
Why?

I don’t remember why I threw my boots out of the tree.

a photo of laurel green wearing a cat ear hat that is covering her eyes and nose
Meow

I made this cat ear hat all by myself.

a photo of laurel green's feet on a table with a can of pop beside them
Lollygagging

President’s Choice pop is the best.

a photo of a bruise on laurel green's shoulder
Ow.

I got this bruise from carrying a heavy grocery bag.

a photo of laurel green's face with a popeye cigarette in her mouth
Don’t worry; It’s candy.

I had to eat a bunch of Popeye Cigarettes last year, because no kids came to my house.

a photo of laurel green wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt
Bleh.

This is me all dressed up to walk my dog in the rain.

a black and white photo of laurel green looking moody
Moody

Man, my pupils are huge.

a closeup photo of laurel green's hand with rings with bugs on them on her fingers
Bug Rings

I really like these bug rings. I wear them all the time.

a photo of a burn on laurel green's wrist
Ouch.

I burnt my wrist on my dead grandmother’s crappy ancient oven.

a photo of laurel green's hand holding a wild strawberry
Yummy!

A bunch of wild strawberries grew on the driveway this year.

a photo of laurel green's neck with a charm necklace around it
Clangy

I don’t know whether I like this necklace better with the rings…

a photo of laurel green's neck with a thick silver necklace around it
Stylin’?

…or without.

a photo of laurel green sitting in a chair in front of some pink lace curtains
Nice curtains!

Look at those awesome curtains. They’re so awesome. It’s awesome.

a photo of laurel green's face, she is wearing glasses and smirking
Hello!

I’m always smirking about something.